


Aftershock

by White_KnightthginK_etihW



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Temporary Character Death, Feelings, M/M, actually, getting together?, he's got anxiety, kahn made this happen, look at him, niero made this happen, past self informing present self, you ruined a perfectly good Star Fleet Captain is what you did
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:34:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22871065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/White_KnightthginK_etihW/pseuds/White_KnightthginK_etihW
Summary: "He’d been having nightmares about it for years. Since the mind meld on Delta Vega. It was one of the fragments left behind, lodged into his memory, he was sure, by the lingering wisp of his other self, the small part of that other James T. Kirk that would always be with Spock the Elder."
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 4
Kudos: 83





	Aftershock

**Author's Note:**

> This fic sort of hit me completely out of left field when I watched a music video about my two favorite space husbands. I felt compelled to write this piece about Jim's visceral reaction to the situation at hand when the Enterprise was Dying. I've long held the opinion that he did have some of Elder Spock's memories and he couldn't let this happen again, so here we are! 
> 
> I'd like to give many many thanks to TinyTenshi, my Beta reader and editor! Thanks so much love, you're the best! <3

_Song: Gentle Earthquakes_

_Artist: AURORA_

****

Jim wouldn’t let it happen this time. Not this time; not when he knew what Spock would do to save them, to keep them alive, to save their crew, their…their family.

**_[After all, no ship should go down without her Captain.]_ **

He’d been having nightmares about it for years. Since the mind meld on Delta Vega. It was one of the fragments left behind, lodged into his memory, he was sure, by the lingering wisp of his other self, the small part of that other James T. Kirk that would always be with Spock the Elder.

So, he had gone. He hadn’t thought twice.

****

**_[Core misaligned. Danger, core misaligned]_ **

He’d knocked out Scotty to keep him safe and he’d gone in. No time for Protective Rad gear, no time to wait. His Lady was dying, and if she perished, so would his family. So would Spock.

He’d climbed into the core. Gone where he could only die, where he could only see Spock dying, over and over again. He’d seen it, he’d felt the pain, felt the loss, felt everything, in his dreams. In those lost, shared memories.

**_[That door is there to stop us getting irradiated, we’d be dead before we made the climb]_ **

He could not live without Spock; he couldn’t live knowing his crew was dying, that they were dead without action.

He was, after all, a man of action. Spock, as the Elder had proven, could – would- someday have to live without Jim. He could survive that.

And all he could hear in the back of his head was Spock’s voices intertwining, his Spock and not…his Spock.

‘The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one.’

****

**_[You’re not making the climb]_ **

****

So he’d crawled into his Lady’s still warm heart and gotten it beating again, even as his own began to slow.

He’d managed to get back to the door. To lean against warm metal and rest, with just enough time left.

****

**_[I want you to know why I couldn’t let you die. Why I went back for you]_ **

Just enough time to say his goodbye, to the one person who mattered most.

****

**_[Because you are my friend]_ **

****

And then there was warmth. Not the burning that had been, but comfort. Like being held close in a mother’s arms. What he imagined that must feel like, having no clear memories of such comfort as a child.

There was a voice too. Almost familiar.

She held him, whoever she was, for a long time, comforting him, telling him to wait, that he wasn’t finished, not quite yet.

All he would remember later was the softness of silver and blue that came with gentle words.

**_[You are welcome, Jim]_ **

And then…he was waking up. Clean, white and sterile. The echo of his mother, his father and his captain lingering in his ears.

Then there was Bones. Cracking wise and making pleasantries, explaining.

Then, more importantly, there was Spock. Calling him Jim, for the first time.

And that was enough. For the moment. He’d laid his head back, a smile on his face, and closed his eyes, to dream now of all the wonderful things that might be waiting for them in their new, unburdened future.

****

**_[To Boldly Go…]_ **


End file.
